Purls Beyond Price

Grace Under Pressure?

Last week was hard. The kind of hard where your eyes never quite lose that sandpaper under your eyelids feeling and every joint in your body aches. The kind of hard where you worry that at any moment you might completely lose your shit and burst into tears, freaking out people around you. I felt the antithesis of calm and elegant. I kept trying to "pull myself together," to retain Grace Under Pressure.

Who the hell is Grace? It struck me one morning as I schlepped into the convention center that as I sought to maintain control, I was, in fact, disassociating and losing myself in the process. This sort of compartmentalization is all too familiar to me; it's how I've coped for much of my life. The problem is that the further I go into that coping behavior, the less of me there is. It eats up all my energy and I begin to feel dull and hollow, despite the bright and shiny exterior that I show to the world. I realized with stunning clarity that I could actually feel the division taking place, and I really didn't want that any more. Not being myself felt intolerable. I'd rather be a frazzled Nathania and be honest with myself about where I am and what I'm feeling than to try to be someone else. So go away, Grace. I may be tired and cranky, but at least I'm here and showing up for myself.

I always feel more like myself when I have my needles in my hands. This is the new design I was hoping to have done for Stitches, before chaos took over. It's a sweater for Kevin and we have yet to find a clever title for it, poor no-name slob (10 points to anyone who gets that reference). I would have completed the second sleeve last night, but I ran short of yarn as I was nearing the end of the sleeve cap. Just 22 rows short and the rest of the yarn was at the shop. It will be done today, perhaps even seamed!

We're off to Bakersfield tomorrow to introduce Elinor to one of her namesakes, her Great Grandma Marge, and to Kevin's mom's side of the family. See you next week!

Calm After The Storm

I spent most of my waking hours at Stitches West this weekend. Our booth was quite a lot bigger than the one we had last year, so we had lots more stuff to schlep in, set up and maintain. Chloe, Sandi, and I are immensely grateful to our families and friends who busted their humps to help us make things happen at the show.

Really, they went to extreme lengths to help. Tony even donned the Passport Tiara and posed as our Pretty, Pretty Passport Princess to stamp Ravelry passports for the hundreds of folks who passed through the booth.

Kathy, CJ, Lisa, Emy, Jasmin, Colleen, Cynthia, Mari, Becky, Juanita, Sheetal, Ray, Liana, Nicky, Michelle, Eddie, Tony, Kaye, Kevin, Ruthie, Kaelyn, Karin and Kevin all deserve medals for service above and beyond the call of duty. We couldn't have done it without you.

What with the craziness of setting up and working the booth, not to mention preparing to model in the fashion show (which I only found out was actually going to happen on Friday morning), I didn't feel much like shopping. In fact, I was pretty much yarned out before the show even started. The only acquisitions I made were fiber. I bought some Merino Silk and Baby Camel Silk from Red Fish Dyeworks and Sandi treated me to a gorgeous bump of pink superwash merino from Tactile (look for a trunk show at the shop soon!). Not even Brooks Farm could tempt me, since I haven't even touched the sweater's worth of Four Play that I got last year.

Saturday evening we invited the Blue Moon Sockateers: Cockeyed, Hot Flash and Etta Mae to the shop to hang out and relax. I had to keep a sharp eye on Cockeyed. She threatened to make off with the baby more than once. Ellie had a great time being passed from one set of arms to the next.

Meanwhile Bud was getting cuddles and kisses from Etta Mae. He was in Doggy Heaven, curled up on her lap and getting pets. We think her kitties are going to be jealous.

The shop was bustling with laughter and cheer. It was nice to have a bit of relaxation in the midst of all the Stitches madness.

Honestly though, this was what got me through it all. My seven week old sweetheart is genuinely smiling now. There is nothing better or more precious in this world than the smile of a baby. Ellie was a trooper, hanging out in the booth with me or chillin' outside with Colleen or Lisa. She was tremendously patient and even slept through her whole fashion show debut.

Today Ellie and I are home with Karin, who just had one of her molars extracted (the permanent tooth below it wasn't pushing the baby tooth out). We're knitting, watching movies and trying to catch up on some much needed sleep.

PhotoBucket Meme

Because Binty did it first...

1. Go to www.photobucket.com (don't sign in)
2. For each question below, type your answer in the "search" box and hit ENTER
3. Use only the first page of hits that come up and select a picture. If no matches are found to your search query you can revise your answer.
4. Copy the html for the photo you select and paste it in your LJ post.

 1) What's your first name?

2) What's your favorite food?

3) Where did you go to school?

4) What's your relationship status?

5) What's your favorite color?

6) Who's your celebrity crush?

7) Who are you listening to right now?

8) Favorite movie?

9) Favorite book?

10) Favorite Disney Princess?

11) Favorite drink?

12) Where's your dream vacation?

13) What's your favorite dessert?

14) What do you want to be when you grow up?

15) What do you love most in life?

16) One word to describe yourself?

Play along if you like.

With A Little Help From My Friends

Things didn't quite go as planned yesterday. Sandi and Kaye had the flu, the laptop that we're taking to Stitches refused to talk to the network at the shop, a big order we had counted on for the show will not arrive in time. Everything was out of my control and I was stressed out and frustrated. Fortunately, we have excellent friends who heard our plea to the universe for help and came through in a big way. Huge thanks to Mary, Mari, Jasmin, Lisa, Becky, Juanita, Rita, Colleen and the Zach Man, Ray the massage therapist (come see him at our booth at Stitches, he does wonders with repetitive stress soreness), and Ray the network guru, for pitching in and helping me and Chloe to pack and prepare for Stitches, solve problems as they arose, and just plain showed up to support us. We are so grateful.

And a special thanks to my darling husband, who pitched all his plans for the day to load in stuff at the convention center and to huck boxes for the Blue Moon Sockateers and us. He left at 6 am this morning to do more schlepping to the show and to set up our booth with Sandi's Kevin and Kaye. My Kevin is a marvel. I don't know what I would do without him. I am a lucky woman.

Now on with the show!

So Far Behind

Stitches West is this weekend and I've been in full-on production mode. I finished the Tulip Cardigan and I'm just a sleeve away from being finished with the new design (though the pattern won't be available for a week or so). Because all my time has been focused on knitting for Stitches and taking care of the sweet baby girl, I'm way behind on everything else. There are piles of clean laundry on the dining table that need to be folded and put away. The kitchen is a mess. I've got stacks of thank you notes to write and some that are written that need stamps and addresses. I'm trying to catch up, but I'm feeling a bit swamped and overwhelmed. I guess all that will have to wait until after Stitches. We start set up today! Eeeeek!

One Month and Counting

This week has been a flurry of activity. Wednesday we went to the doctor for Ellie's one month check up. We are happy to report that she is progressing right on track and even blew her pediatrician away with her strength and ability to track movement with her eyes. She's gained over 2 pounds since birth!

To celebrate we met Xtopher for lunch. While Ellie was happy to meet new friends for the first time, she hopes X will pardon her for sleeping through the whole thing. Going to the doctor is hard work!

Thursday I returned to work at the shop with Miss Ellie in tow. I am so privileged to be able to bring her to work with me. I can't imagine leaving her! We manage quite well with her hanging out on my chest in the Baby Bjorn. Ellie enjoys all the attention she gets from her many admirers. Please swing in to say hello if you're nearby. We're usually there in the early afternoon, before we go to pick the big sisters up from school. We're sometimes there in the evening too.

Still plugging away on the Tulips Cardigan at every possible opportunity. We're down to the last stripe and then finishing work. I predict an FO by the end of the weekend. Hope your weekend is full of all things wonderful.

Four Weeks

They have flown by. Ellie is a remarkably low key baby, not crying much at all, sleeping for up to 5 and a half hours at night, and generally being a little sparkle of joy and light in our lives. She's growing by leaps and bounds and every day she looks different. We're spending lots of time reading Winnie the Pooh stories, singing songs and snuggling together. This is our first day at home all alone, the two of us. The first three weeks Kevin was home with us and my mother in law was here last week. I'm soaking in this precious alone time with my littlest girl and falling more in love with her with every passing moment.

In knitting news, the Mama Tulip Cardi is almost done. I've got a few more stripes to knit on the body and then it's on to finishing. I'll definitely have it done in time for Stitches. And hopefully with enough time to finish my other Stitches project up too! Cross your fingers.

Tag! I'm It!

Kathy tagged me and I must comply:

4 Jobs I've Held:

1. Dry cleaning customer service representative
2. Manager of a retail store
3. Image consultant
4. Web designer

4 Movies I've Watched Over and Over Again:

1. American Beauty
2. Moulin Rouge
3. Sense & Sensibility
4. Grosse Point Blank

4 Places I've Been:

1. London
2. Paris
3. Copenhagen
4. Florence

4 Places I've Lived:

1. Grand Rapids, Minnesota
2. Grimstad, Norway
3. Mountain View, CA
4. Sunnyvale, CA

Part A: 4 TV Shows I Watch:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Dancing with the Stars
3. Inside the Actor's Studio
4. Good Eats

Part B: 4 Radio Shows I Listen To:
(when I listen to the radio, which is rarely)
1. K101 Don Bleu in the morning
2. Fresh Air
3. Car Talk
4. Talk of the Nation

4 Things I Look Forward To:

1. Stitches West
2. Sock Camp
3. Watching my daughters change and grow 
4. Spending time with Kevin

4 Favorite Foods:

1. Something cooked by a chef in a fancy restaurant
2. Beef carpaccio
3. Chocolate - especially Callebaut
4. Dessert

4 Places I'd Rather Be:

1. Wandering through museums in Europe
2. Esalen Institute
3. New York City
4. Having a spa day with a massage, facial and the works

4 People I email regularly:

1. My business partners
2. Kevin
3. Emy
4. Robin

4 People to Tag:

1. Juanita
2. Emy
3. Henriette
4. Shanti