What an outpouring of love and support I got from my readers yesterday! Thank you all for your emails and comments. They meant a great deal to me.
I spent a good portion of yesterday knitting. It's the one thing that seems to soothe me and keep my mind from reeling too much. I remembered last night that I was knitting a strawberry hat for Kaelyn while Andrew was in the hospital. I wonder where it got to. I remember finishing it, but can't remember ever seeing it again...
Morgan must have been reading my mind (in advance, no less) because when I got home from work yesterday there was a package from Amazon containing Sarah McLachlan's Solace. The irony of the CD's title was not lost on me, as that was exactly what I was needing. Thank you so much, Morgan! I've been listening to it this morning while working and sneaking in a row or two on Plum Frost. I'm nearly through the second repeat now and I just finished the first ball of yarn. The Cashmerino is just the perfect thing to knit when you're feeling down. Its cushy softness has a healing effect.
I also got a lovely RAOK from Lori who returned the spoon she unintentionally kidnapped at the Knit In (it fell into the container of curry that she made). She included a darling notepad reminding me that I am The Princess of Quite A Lot, a wee pink piggy bath bomb, Raspberry Creams, the recipe for her killer Cinnamon Quickbread (a total post Knit In hit with Kevin and me) and a hank of Classic Elite Wings in a heavenly periwinkle shade. It's Alpaca, Silk and Wool. Yummy! Thank you Lori!
If there's one thing that makes blogging important to me, it is the opportunity to speak who I am out into the universe. I'm always so surprised that so many people are out there listening. Externalizing my thoughts and feelings has become a necessary outlet, my normal nature being to internalize and bottle up my frustration, my anger, my sadness. Having the blog has helped tremendously with being able to express myself in my everyday life and I hope that my interactions in person are as forthright and honest as my blog is.
Kevin has been a rock the past few days. He's solid and strong and lets me have the space I need to work through my stuff. Mostly, he holds me when I cry and is just there for it. He never interferes or tells me to get over it. He doesn't tell me that it's alright. He just lets me cry until the tears stop. Just when I think that I couldn't possibly love him more, he goes and shows me more ways to love him. And then he hands me back my knitting.